Splits

                                         
                                          

hi loved ones....all your words touch me to the core, and I remember them as I go about the week - looking like...an idiot... uncomfortable...fish out of water.

on wednesday we went to Cauayan for the “new kid training.” that’s not what it’s called, but it was my whole batch from the mtc and our trainers.  we went to the mission home for something...but to be honest, i have no idea what we talked about because the whole time i was with Morty and Sister Davis.  agh!  it was so good to see them!  like when i walked into the home i nearly collapsed with excitement because it was such a relief to see familiar faces.

but

that excitement was short lived. 

that night the “Sister Training Leaders” called to tell us we would be going on splits the next day...uh. no. that sounded like the most retarded thing in the world. why would we want to go on splits? no need.  

so i was the one having to take this other missionary out to my investigators and the thought, honestly, made me ill.  i didn’t know how to go anywhere without Sister Perlas.  how was i gonna talk to my investigators? not even sure where i was going! and seriously wanted to refuse to go - like drinking the water actually was considered.  i threw an internal tantrum and was being such a baby.

so

i didn’t drink the water. i just spent most of my morning studies reading the scriptures and praying my guts out that i could get through the day.  once the STLs got there, i looked down at my watch and thought, “ok, one minute down.  only a lot more to go.” and when i talked to them i was seriously on the verge of tears.  i couldn’t say a lot. one of the sisters was American...and i was still nervous, but long story short...by the next morning we were best friends.

no seriously - 

this experience of going on splits changed my life.  that’s not an exaggeration.  I went on splits with the American, Sister P.,  the day we went out was her 1 year mark, ironically.  she was the most influential person i have come in contact with on my mission so far.  i started by telling her, “look, i am so nervous and want to die.  i don’t know tagalog.  i don’t know how to lead lessons very well. i don’t know what i’m doing, and i don’t want to do this.”  she just looked at me and was like, 

“Hey!  It’s ok! Just show me where we’re going.  I’ll take care of it.”

so, we visited N.  i picked her first cause i am way close to her and it was just the most comfortable to start with.  we got in there and Sister P. seriously was the most incredible person.  people actually started gathering around from the whole barangay just to hear the white girl speak tagalog.  everyone respected her and wanted to listen.  i just sat there, like star struck even, and couldn’t believe it.  just her ability to teach and to speak and to communicate with these people.  I Crave That.

the whole day was successful.  i got more comfortable leading the lessons as the day went on.  every single person we went to teach let us come in.  usually they think they’re busy.

but on this day they listened.

i was even able to commit D. to baptism.  she is 18.  so rad.  i love her.

i just KNOW that Heavenly Father sent that tender mercy my way.

i know He heard me loud and clear all morning as i pleaded for His help and strength.

Sister P. made me realize through her example as a missionary that i have so much work to do.  but also that I CAN do it.  

it changed my whole perspective on this entire mission.  it was so cool to see what my potential can be in the future as a missionary in the Philippines.  i still have so much to learn...and i can’t go home until i’m a missionary like Sister P....which will probably take me like 4 years.  yikes.  but it made me excited.

Oh!  another thing. i was walking by a rice field the other day and it almost smelled like the ocean...just for a second.  another tender mercy.  i stopped in the middle of the road and just stood there and smelled the air.  it was incredible.

EVERYDAY

i can feel Heavenly Father stretching me.  somedays it hurts.  somedays i feel it’s unbearable..but each day as i rely on the strength of my older brother, Jesus Christ, and just try my best - i get through it.  each day i witness the blessing and the miracles of life.  it is incredible...life.  it’s not easy. but it’s such a pure gift of love from our Father in Heaven.

it’s true - a mission can only be experienced.  i am grateful to be here.  somedays it’s hard to be grateful in the moment.  but as i go to bed each night i thank Heavenly Father for teaching me the things He did that day.

We have so many reasons to be happy...

Sister Frame, just off the plane

Hi All!  This week went by fast - well, this week feels like a year, but at the same time, it feels like I just had P-day....

The scriptures and the power that comes from reading them are what have kept me here on my mission.  Any time I think I'm uncomfortable or want to cry, I just open my scriptures.  The words change my life everyday.  There is SO MUCH in them that answers ALL of my questions.  I have never been so obsessed with the Book of Mormon.  I am so intrigued.  That's all I do when I have a minute to spare.  I am So Grateful for the scriptures.  Love them.  Cherish them.  Live them.  It will make you happy.

Ward council yesterday was 4.5 hours long...I understood probably 1/10 of what was being said...and that fraction I understood was in English.  - (and we took a break like every other hour to eat something.  Filipinos love snacks).  I love our Bishop - he's a stud.  He really has our back as missionaries and is always having us over for dinner.  His wife is a bomb cook.

Oh, I still speak English.  Really.  I don't know this language.  I got chewed out by a Filipino man the other night.  I was just chill in, kinda dazed out as my companion was talking to him about the printer at the store.  He turned to me and asked if I understood what he was saying.  I said, "Konti-lang," a little bit.  And then he started:  I'm in this country, I need to respect it by speaking Tagalog.  I was.....super annoyed.  It had been a long day, and I just looked at him, and legitimately said, "Dude, I'm trying."  I know that wasn't the most polite, dignified, or proper way to act as a sister missionary....but we aren't perfect.  and I don't even feel bad for that one.

I've learned how to say the important things like, "Hello" is ...hello.  And I know how to say, "it smells so bad," "I'm hungry," or in more cases, "No thanks, I'm full...really, I'm full...I don't want anymore of your fish gut soup."  ....and some other gospel related things.  I'm working on it..and fasting and praying for the gift of tongues...and reading the Tagalog Book of Mormon everyday.  Eventually, hopefully within the next 16 months, I'll improve.

I have many reasons to be happy.  I teach the most incredible individuals in the world.  My whole days are centered around the gospel, and I have the help and strength from the Lord in everything I do.

I'm happy.  I'm blessed.  so blessed.  I'm grateful to be here.  I'm grateful for the experiences...even on the rough days.  I remind myself that it will all be ok.  It always is.  The Scriptures and Prayer keep my going.  I don't feel lonely when I pray.  I pray in my head about 90% of the day...and the other 10% is out loud.  ha.  Be happy, we have so many reasons to be happy.  Thank you for all your support.  I love you and pray for you each day!

I'm still here

,

I'm am here.  In the Philippines.  I've already had some experiences I hold so close and dear to my heart.

John Paul - age 24.  The week before I got here, he showed up to church.  He had just been left by his fiance, who left with another man and took all their wedding savings. 

So, instead of going and drinking and gambling,
he decided to go to church.  He dressed up and came to the nearest chapel.  The week I arrived, we taught him a lesson and have continued to do so 10 more times.  He committed to be baptized on July 28 (his birthday - he wanted to make it special).  Every lesson he has been so receptive.  You can see the light in his face and the peace he feels when he comes to a lesson.

And, every lesson, I make myself look like an idiot.  He would laugh and feel really uncomfortable for me, and then we would just carry on with the lesson. 

He would learn something, I would learn something, and he continued to get closer to Heavenly Father.  Yesterday, he didn't come to church, and we learned that he had been transferred to work an hour away.  He was too sad and shy to mention to us that that was happening.  

So, he left.  However, I told him to go to church on Sunday and find the missionaries there.  

I pray pray pray that he will continue to listen to the missionaries.  And I pray that he will be watched over.

I give away lots of things - like gum.  The first day I was here, I gave a piece to a kid and realized that it was golden.  

We visited Rolando and his wife and two children.  They live under a tree fort.  Their house is a bunch of blankets strung together, tied up in the tree branches.  They live under it.  He has a son named Junior.  Junior is 4, and the first time I met him, he was very hesitant.  So, I gave him a picture of Jesus. Then the next time I visited, I gave him some gum, and slowly he really warmed up to me.  

That was Friday.  The following Wednesday, we came back.  And Junior was excited to see me.  I noticed he was chewing the same piece of gum that I had given him 5 days before.  So I quickly gave him a new piece, and he threw his old piece on the ground.  His Smile is one I WILL NEVER forget.

These people change my life everyday.  The people I am privileged to teach....I love them...I love them...with my whole heart.

Don't get me wrong - like...I still don't know the language.  One bit.  I'm worse than I was last week.  But I just speak in English.  Sometimes I forget that I'm supposed to be speaking a different language.  That kind of stresses me out, but....Whatever.  I don't want to think about it.

I'm still obsessed with the moon.  The weather is ridiculous - but I can't change it, so it's not worth thinking twice about.  Every Filipino asks how old I am.  When they hear I'm 20 they all say, "Oh you are so young.  You look 15!  When they say that I always want to say, "look who's talking."  but I don't. If every dog in the Philippines got sucked up by some flying vacuum, I would be very happy.